Comedy has always been a space where people test boundaries. That is part of its nature. You walk into a room, say something unexpected, and see how people react. Sometimes it brings people together. Sometimes it makes them uncomfortable. Sometimes it makes them think. But over time, I have started to care less about just getting a reaction and more about what that reaction actually means.
Not all laughter is the same. That is something I think people miss when they talk about comedy.
Laughter Is Not Neutral
It is easy to say “it is just a joke” and move on. I get why people say that. Comedy is supposed to be fun. It is supposed to be light. But the reality is that jokes do not exist in a vacuum. They land on people who have different life experiences, different histories, and different sensitivities.
What one person laughs at without thinking, another person might feel directly targeted by. That does not automatically make a joke wrong, but it does mean it is worth thinking about what kind of impact it has.
I have learned over time that laughter can either build a bridge or create a gap. It depends on how it is used.
Punching Up vs Punching Down
One of the simplest ideas in comedy that still matters to me is the difference between punching up and punching down. It is not a perfect rule, but it is a useful one.
Punching up means aiming humor at systems, ideas, power structures, or situations that are bigger than the individual. Punching down means targeting people who already face disadvantage, discrimination, or marginalization.
I try to stay aware of that line. Not because I am afraid of being edgy, but because I do not think humor needs to rely on harming people who already get enough of that in real life.
Comedy can challenge authority without targeting vulnerable groups. It can question ideas without turning people into the joke just because of who they are.
My ADHD and Why Perspective Matters
Living with ADHD has also shaped how I think about comedy. My brain jumps fast, sometimes too fast, and I notice how easy it is to miss context when you are moving quickly. That applies to jokes too.
Something can feel funny in your head in the moment, but when you slow it down and think about how it lands on different people, it changes how you see it. Therapy has helped me with that kind of reflection. So has just doing stand-up long enough to see how differently audiences can interpret the same idea.
Comedy is not just about instinct. It is also about awareness.
Why I Care About This Now
When I started out in stand-up, I mostly thought about whether something was funny. That was the only metric. Does it get a laugh or does it not. Over time, that shifted for me.
Now I think about connection more than reaction. I care about whether people feel included in the room or excluded from it. I care about whether a joke brings relief or adds tension that does not need to be there.
I am not interested in comedy that exists just to shock people for the sake of it. Shock wears off fast. Connection lasts longer.
Comedy and Responsibility
I do not think comedians are supposed to be moral authorities. That is not the job. But I do think we have a responsibility to be aware of what we are contributing to the world around us.
There is already enough division, enough hate, and enough misunderstanding out there. Comedy does not need to add more of that just to get attention.
At the same time, I do not believe in making comedy so safe that it becomes meaningless. There is a balance. You can be honest. You can be sharp. You can even be uncomfortable. But there is a difference between challenging ideas and reinforcing harm.
I try to stay on the side of challenge.
Growing Up and Seeing the Bigger Picture
A lot of this perspective also comes from growing up and just paying attention to people. I was raised with strong family values, especially around respect and empathy. My parents have always been a grounding force in my life, and they have shown me through example what it means to treat people with basic decency.
That matters to me more now than it did when I first started performing.
Living in Boston now, being closer to family, and having more life experience overall has made me think more about the long game. Not just a single set or a single joke, but what kind of voice I actually want to have over time.
The Audience Is Not the Enemy
One thing I always remind myself is that the audience is not the enemy. They are not there to be tested or tricked. They are there to connect, to laugh, and to feel something real for a little while.
When I approach comedy that way, everything changes. I stop thinking about pushing buttons just to see what happens and start thinking about how to communicate something in a way that people can actually receive.
That does not make the comedy weaker. If anything, it makes it more honest.
Comedy will always involve risk. That is part of what makes it exciting. But risk does not have to come at the expense of empathy.
What we laugh at says something about us. Not in a heavy, moralizing way, but in a real human way. It reflects what we are paying attention to, what we are comfortable with, and how we see other people.
For me, I want my comedy to feel like connection, not division. I want people to laugh, but also feel like they are part of something, not the target of it.
That is what comedy with a conscience means to me.